Length: ∼27,000 characters
(3/22/24) Hello. What you are reading is going to be the most boring thing ever written. I don't even know what the point of this is, but what I do know is that 1: I have too much freetime. 2: Get ready for a loooong ride, my friend. Because this is going to be the longest wall of text on a simple HTML website you will have ever gazed your eyes upon. So buckle up, and get ready for a very long ride.
(3/22/24) So, you actually went to this website. Congrats, you get nothing. I bet you were searching for random Neocities websites because you have absolutely nothing better to do. I actually don't have anything better to do either, so I guess we both have too much freetime. Also, if you are wondering how long this is gonna be, I am not gonna tell you, just to make this a even more painful experience. I bet that my wrists and fingers are gonna be broken after this. I could continue typing onto this thing for days, weeks, or even months. I could still be updating this a YEAR from now. Okay. But seriously, why are you even here? You could just click off, or read another wall of text that's probably way better than mine. If you really want to read this, well, I can't stop you. So anyways, let's talk about something new. Something unexpected. Something bold and unique, also because this chapter is getting a little long (or short? i don't really know at this point) but anyways, here we go. Next chapter!
(3/22/24) This actually isn't the first time I have tried to write a "LTE" (longest text ever). This is the fourth attempt. Previous ones were just HTML files I never published to the web. The longest one was actually the second attempt, which PROBABLY had (don't quote me on this) 18 chapters, and over 30,000 characters. But here's the thing. I used copy and paste MORE THAN ONCE in that attempt, so it doesn't count. But this time, no more fooling around. No more copy and paste, just pure walls of text typed by my hands. The first attempt had only 5 chapters, and it was split into different files, so it wasn't really a "wall of text" like I want it to be. I want you to be able to scroll down for miles and miles, without ever reaching the end. Something so long, nobody will ever DARE to read everything inside it. Okay, so far, with the HTML code, this is currently around 3,230 characters long. I'm not gonna count the words, just characters. Hopefully Neocities doesn't crash while I'm trying to type on this. Now, I don't know if these should really be counted as chapters, but rather just paragraphs, because each one is kinda short. But whatever, I don't know what else to call them. Paragraphs just sounds weird. Okay, I have a question for you. If a cheese walked down sideways to the McDonalds, what would the value of "c" be? I'm just joking. That wasn't even a question, just complete gibberish. Is this getting long? I think it's getting long. Maybe, maybe not. I haven't viewed what the actual website looks like with this chapter in it yet. Also, if there is a bunch of typos in this, that's because it's 10:44 PM and I am tired and bored. I need sleep. Actually, I think it's time to move onto a new topic. I call it...
(3/22/24) So there was one time where I was waiting in the lunch line at school. On Thursdays, we normally have the nachos, which, let me tell you, the meat is disgusting. I don't know what they are putting in that "mystery meat", but my stomach does NOT WANT TO KNOW. So, I just get the mashed potatos with gravy. I sit down, eat, and notice something inside the gravy. At first, it was slimy, sticky, and was a big black blob. Me, being the idiot I was, ate the blob. I ended up vomiting a bunch of times even when I just thinked about it. I don't know what that was, but I am sure I don't want to know. And that's why I don't get the gravy from school anymore. That was a short chapter. Now, for this next part, I am going to tell you a story. "There once was a dude with an orange in his pocket. He carried it everywhere he went. Until one fateful day, in which that day was the day he ate the orange and died. The end. In loving memory of (GUY WHO DIED EATING ORANGE)." That certainly was an interesting story, huh? Anyways, next chapter!
(3/23/24) So, there are actually multiple of these LTEs out there. There is one by someone named Kenneth (i think) and it is around 25,000 characters. Maybe. I don't really know, I might be wrong. Last time I looked at that LTE, it was a WHILE back. Anyways, there is another one by flamingchicken that is OVER 200,000 CHARACTERS LONG! Wow. That is very long. But what if I told you that there is a LTE like no other. One that is hundreds of thousands of characters long. One that is- okay, you get the point. And that LTE goes to... Knockton! With a whopping 572,168 characters, this is quite possibly the longest out of all the Longest Text Evers. It could even be longer than the bible. But who knows. There could be a very obscure and unknown LTE out there, still active to this day. It could be even longer than everything we have ever laid our eyes upon. It could be the actual Longest Text Ever. Now, I am not trying to get a world record here but- oh, who am I kidding, that's the whole point of this- I mean- I, um, uhhhh... yeah. Here's an interesting fact. If you were to type something like this at 1 character per second nonstop, you would beat the record in around a week. Since there are 86,400 seconds in a day, if we were to switch that to 1 character per second, we would get the same amount. 86,400 times 7 equals 604,800. 604,800 is greater than 572,168. And finally- okay, enough of the math stuff. I think it's almost time to go onto a new chapter. So, before we move on, let's read another story. "There once was a boy named George. George one day decided to be so dumb, he licked a toilet seat. 5 days later, he was in the ER, laying down. The end." ...Well, that escalated quickly.
(3/23/24) Okay, before you ask, yes, the title is intentional. I had no ideas whatsoever so just went with this. Let's see what things my smooth brain can think of while typing this. Also, if you remember when this was in Arial text font and had a white background, you are a legend. Welp, it's 9:39 PM, and I have nothing better to do, so why not play some games? How about... hmm... maybe Rock, Paper, Scissors? No, no, that won't work... Okay. I have an idea. Guess the number I am thinking of. Hint, it's on a scale from -942.3 to 495,244,023.589. Did you guess? Well it was -942.4. I purposfully picked a lower number than the scale so I could trick you. Alright, well here's an advertisement for no reason: Get unlimited phone free cellular free data plan plus ultimate for only $799.39 a month! This was an advertisement by g-mobil. Okay, what should I talk about next... I know! A quiz. First question: What is the square root of -1? Answer: Imaginary value! Second question: What is the time as I am typing this? Answer: 9:45 PM! Last question: What is the mathematical sum of addend "1" and addend "1"? Answer: 11! Okay, enough of that, it's getting boring. This whole chapter is boring. I couldn't even think of a good name for it. This isn't creative. This isn't artwork. It's just a meaningless wall of text. But I won't let that stop me. I will continue typing until I DIE- Okay, maybe not until I die, but I could add onto this for the next month or so. Well, what should we do now? I don't really know, I have completely ran out of ideas... Oh, wait! There still is one thing I haven't talked about on this yet... The length of the document! Let's see... after copying and pasting the contents of the actual website into Notepad++, I can see that there is around almost 8,000 characters on this LTE. Okay, NOW we are getting somewhere. I've just realized something. These chapters are really short... maybe I could just make this one really long? I guess if I want to sacrifice my fingers, then I can... Okay wrists, get ready for the most painful 3 hours of your life! What if I actually break my fingers from typing too much? Is it possible? I don't know. I could Google it. Okay, I Googled it, and no, you may not break your fingers but you can cause severe injuries to the bones or tissue (at least i think). As I am typing onto the LTE, this site currently has 23 views. So thanks those 23 people who found my website. You win NOTHING. Mainly because I don't have anything to give you. Sorry about that. Actually, some of those 23 views could just be the same people checking for updates. Well, guess what? There's been quite a few updates, including a whole style change, so you've got some catching up to do. I honestly don't know why you are even still here. There is literally no point of reading this, unless you have too much spare time and just wanna waste it on some crap website. Well, anyways, I am already typing onto this, so might as well continue. Okay, but this is actually getting a little long. I wonder if I can get this chapter to fill up the whole page. Maybe, maybe not. But it's worth the shot. Okay, so new challenge. Try to keep this chapter going as long as possible. I hope I don't end up running out of ideas before I even get to the next chapter since I am doing this. Eh, should be fine though. Actually... you know what? I have changed my mind. I don't want this to be a long chapter. Just long enough so it can even be classified as a chapter. The previous ones probably aren't even chapters, just short paragraphs. But not this one. I shall continue until the chapter fills up the entire page, I shall continue until- Welp, I am getting bored so I might work on this another time. So... buh-bye.
(3/23/24) Well, well, well. We are close to hitting 10,000 characters in this monstrosity. Wait for it... BOOM! 10,000 characters and counting on this LTE. Nice. Anyways, considering the fact that the only thing I am probably gonna do here is celebrate hitting 10,000 characters, this may be a very short chapter. So far, it is a very, VERY short chapter. This is nothing compared to Chapter 5. I must find a way to continue this chapter... Dang, if only I could count how many words were in this LTE... Well, anyways, that was a short-lived celebration. Cya!
(3/24/24) It is the third day. Just woke up, remembered the LTE I had, and now have decided to edit it again. The website now has 28 views, so thank you those 5 extra people. Also, you may have noticed the counter at the bot10m of the site. It is more than the view counter. Well, it is NOT a view counter, but rather a hit counter. You may know this if you've used Neocities before, but the hit counter goes up every time the servers send a file. Also, part of the reason the hit counter is higher than the view one is because almost half of those were me refreshing the page to see how it looked. Anyways, we now have 11,111 characters in this LTE. That's a cool number. That's 5 ones. Okay, I'll stop... You know what? I dare you to try and find the number "10" inside this LTE. Hint: It is before this text. ;) Also, I probably should mention something. My online username is actually DFC454. I will change the title later to say "DFC454's LTE". On the list of LTEs (longesttextever.neocities.org), The shortest LTE only has 12,734 characters, which is by BusterDdog and the LTE is titled "BusterDdog's Kinda Boring Life". Copy the link if you wanna look at it: (busterddogskindaboringlife.neocities.org). Well, I am about to beat that character amount, because I am now at 11,767 characters! Just 1,000 more to go! Well, now what should I talk about? Hmm...
(3/24/24) So, I don't think I have told you what the point of this LTE is. Well, what I am trying to do, is make the longest wall of text ever, and my goal for characters is... 12 million- just joking. I don't really have a goal for this, just trying to type as much as I can. This is sort of just a blog for stuff that happens in my life. Or whatever weird rants I can talk about. Or maybe just random stuff. I just ate some popcorn. Like that. Mmm, doritos. Or that. Okay, okay, I'm done. I am suprised you managed to get this far into the future "Longest Text Ever". You must be reeeallly bored by now. Why don't you go outside or something? You could do so much stuff other than reading this. Oh, whatever. I can't stop you, but what I can do, is make up a really boring story that might just make you go away. Let's begin. "There once was a dude who had a magic thermostat. He could turn it up to any temperature he wanted. First, he turned it to 20 degrees (Fahrenheit). He slowly started turning into a block of ice, so he quickly changed the temperature to 150 degrees. He started melting, but his fingers were too liquidy to set the thermostat to a different temperature. So, he died. The end." Truly a sad story. I will never forget that man. Wait, what was I just talking about? Never mind that, let's talk about the Flaming Chicken LTE. It is 203,941 characters long. Here's an interesting fact: Flaming Chicken's LTE started 20 years ago. ended 19 years ago. Time truly flies... But anyways, here's more facts! Did you know that the oldest LTE (i think) is... Hermnerp's LTE at a whopping 230,634 characters, this LTE started on January 19th, 2004! Cool, right? Well, anyways, let's check the length of this... Almost 14,000 characters. Or, exactly 13,830 characters. That puts us at 3rd shortest LTE on longesttextever.neocities.org (THAT IS A DIFFERENT WEBSITE THAN THIS ONE). Now, just around 400 more characters to pass the Textra LTE. Let's check the view counter... Uhh... why is this getting attention? I have 38 views on this website now. Well, thank you extra 10 people that want to look at my website for some reason. You get nothing. Air. Pure nothingness. Not an atom of anything.
(3/25/24) Here's a interesting fact you may already know: One character is approximately equal to one byte of data. So, since there is around 14,000 characters so far, we can change those to bytes and it is... the same number. 14,000. One kilobyte is around 1,000 bytes. 14,000 divided by 1,000 is 14. So... if I am correct, we should be at 14 KB (kilobytes) so far. [8:52] Okay. Seriously. Where are you coming from. I now have over 80 views. Thank you- wait, let me do the math real quick... 81 minus 38... carry the one... Thank you extra 43 people who visited my website. You get... can you guess? Can you? Come on. Guess! Okay, fine. I will tell you. Your reward is... absolutely nothing! I have really don't have anything to give you, so I will give you some air. Breathe it while it's still... umm... not polluted. Well, now we are almost at 15,000 characters, so I think it's time to celebrate. WOO, YEAH!!!!!- Okay, that's enough. Now, I will officially reveal the word count. It is... 2,809 words! Wow, amazing. Not as much as I was hoping.
(3/27/24) I missed a day. Oh well. Nothing much. Guess what? We are now in the double digits of the chapters in The Longest Text Ever! This actually isn't the longest text ever YET, but it will be soon. Very soon. Very, very soon- Okay, fine, maybe not SOON, but eventually. I also noticed I am updating this a lot less frequently now. I am kinda running out of ideas, so I really don't know what to write about. Anyways, I am going to count for absolutely no reason, just because I can. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eightteen, nineteen, twenty. I am bored. (3/28/24) I bet you haven't seen a chapter here be edited on two seperate days yet. That's because it only just has. Try our all new Phone Plus Cellular Phone Plan Ultimate Unlimited Master Lite at 497 dollars a month! From G-Mobl. *g-mobol jingle jangle plays* I have no idea what to write so expect some more weird crap like that every now and then. This chapter is a little short, so let's spice things up a bit. I will tell a story. "There once was a kid named "Name". All the kids in his class laughed and made fun of him because of his name. And they all realized that they had stupid names too. Like "Six", or "Guy". So they couldn't make fun of him anymore. The end." That... did not spice things up at all. That was just boring. Well, anyway, I have to go now. See ya in a bit.
(3/28/24) Here's a fun fact: The most used letter in this LTE is E. The second is T, and then O, A, and I. Found this from a letter density calculator. There is now 1,455 Es in this LTE. That's a lot of Es. In fact, 11% of this page is made out of E. This is truly an E moment. Truly astonishing. In all my life, I have never seen such a grand display of the 5th letter of the English lexicon. Truly a moment to take in. Just let it sink in for a moment. Breathe in, breathe out. Thank you for taking breathing exercises with me. Thank you, and goodnight- okay, this is getting boring. Fun fact: if this page was a PDF, it would only have 5 pages. That's... not a lot. We need more. More I say, MORE! MOOORRREEE!!! EVEN MORE! I NEED THE MOST MORE I CAN GET- Actually, that sentence doesn't even make sense, but eh, whatever. (3/29/24) I am back. With nothing to write about. I am not that creative with finding things to write. Also, if you haven't noticed, these chapter things? They are actually something I came up with to divide this into sections to make the LTE easier to read. If you look at other LTEs, you may noticed they don't have "chapters" unlike this one. I just want to make it easier to read and find where you were. But, we are about to hit 18,000 characters! That is... I guess it's a lot. Quite a bit, but not a BIG amount. This actually has 3,371 words now. And now we have reached 18,000 characters. Truly a moment to take in. Just let it sink in for a moment. Truly an intruging and astonishing moment. Amazing. Quite utterly amazing- Okay, fine, i'll stop... I actually wonder how many typos I have made inside this. Let's check. [7:41] So, I tried putting this in one spell checker and it didn't work. It took too long, so I will try another one. Let's see what happens. It says 250 errors. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY. I can't believe this. Am I really that bad at writing? Well, I'm not suprised, writing wasn't really my big thing anyway. I'm more into mathematics or science. History is a little interesting, but sometimes it just... meh. You don't have to agree with me on these things, they are just my opinions. Well, I have to go somewhere AGAIN, so I will see you... in a little bit. Goodbye!
(3/30/24) My brain has produced an idea. What if, I were to print this out? How many pages would it make? I have the PDF file, and it's literally only 5 pages. That's nothing. I need more. THE MOST I CAN GET- Okay, we've done this before. That idea reminds me of something. One time when I was trying to set up my new printer, which is a HAITCH PEA (hp) brand, the app which I was trying to link the printer to was being so stubborn, it took like 20 minutes. I was pretty tired at the time too, so there's a possibility I was just tired and messing with the wrong things. The next LTE we have to surpass is... Kenneth Iman's LTE. it is 21,425 characters, and this LTE has... wait... let me see... It is almost 19,600 characters long- Oh, wait. My mistake, we are now OVER 19,600 characters. Sorry about that. We are almost at 20,000 characters! Now we are getting somewhere. The character counter I am using actually has a thing where you can view an estimate of how many pages there are in the document you have loaded/pasted. Let's look at what the Word Counter says. There are 3,732 words, 20,000 characters, 359 sentences, 8.3 pages, and the speaking time is... 20 minutes. So, if you were to read this out loud, it would only take 20 minutes. I am disappointed. All this hard work, just for 20 minutes. 20 minutes of speaking time. This is outrageous! I cannot believe this. You know what? I refuse to accept this. This cannot be real- okay, that's enough, but we have finally hit 20,000 characters! Yippee! Hooray! Wowzers! Yikes! Amazing! Intruging! Astounding! Astonishing! Cool, though. And we are about to surpass Kenneth's LTE. We are at a whopping 20,564 characters! Only around 900 more characters to go! But one more thing, thank you people who have actually read this thing. I wouldn't think people would take the time to read something as stupid as this, so thank you for looking at my kinda useless website.
(3/31/24) Well, now there's a new feature on Neocities I guess. There was this AI chat window thing that popped up when I opened up the HTML file to edit it. It's the bot named "Daria", and boy does the AI think I suck. I won't lie on that one, the bot is right. I don't know if this was a April Fools prank or what, but on my side, it isn't April Fools Day yet, so I don't know if this is here to stay or not. Anyways, my honest opinion if this ends up staying on Neocities, I really don't want some AI crap like this. I just want to edit my website the way I want. Also, it seems to really hate my website judging from the fact that it's calling my website a "trainwreck" and "mess". That could be true. Okay, is true. And for some reason, The AI thought I was putting everything in divs. The only thing in a div is the hit counter at the bottom of the website. I've looked on the subreddit for answers, but apparently this is VERY new because I saw posts from 20 minutes ago talking about this new bot "assistant". If this is an April Fool's joke, I just hope it's not gonna stay here on Neocities. But anyways, see you another time I guess.
(4/26/24) Sooooooo, yeah, I am back. I was gone for a while because I was working on some stuff, but now I have returned to continue adding onto this. I forgot how many words and characters were in this, so let's find out. Well diddly dang on a rubbly blang. I am at 22,000+ characters and 4,139 words. Now let's sing the words song! Words, words, words. How many words can you see? 10? 100? 1,000? No, it's approximately four thousand, one hundred and fifty words! Words, words, words- I am never doing that again. Anyways, a little bit about myself because I forgot to mention it before, I make music sometimes, make animations, and programming. Languages I know are Python, C#, and Java (still learning). Looking at the word counter, and it says the amount of pages is around 9. Only nine? Well, I guess I have to keep typing. There is an new experimental option that shows how long it would take if it was hand written, And the hand written time, is... 5 hours and 26 minutes. That's a long time. Now I am wondering the total amount of time I have typed this for... Maybe a few hours? Either way, 5 and a half hours is a LONG time. When I am finally done adding onto this, I wonder how long the LTE would be if I printed it out and made a book with it. Also, it has been over 1 month since I started this! 1 month and 4 days, to be exact. So that means, sadly, I missed the one month anniversary. This is truly a sad moment for all of us. Well, anyways, I have to go soon, so one more thing. The Blue gatorade
(4/29/24) Unfortunately, I will not be able to edit this as much, because guess what? My computer broke. How did it break? Well, the mouse I was using got tangled up behind the computer, so when I moved it a little too far, it fell, and hit the floor. So now the screen is broken and now it's going to be a few weeks for it to get fixed. The way I am editing this right now is using my school laptop (don't judge me), So, yeah. Just a quick little update. And just remember, to always Kool-Aid Jammers
(4/29/24) Yep, you read that right. This is the 16th chapter. Amazing. Semi-Interesting Fact: 16 is a power of 2. For example, 2^1 is 2, 2^2 is 4, 2^3 is 8, and 2^4 is 16. If we were to go higher, we could reach numbers in the millions quite fast. At only 2^32, the value is two billion, one hundred forty-seven million, four hundred eighty-three thousand, six hundred forty-seven. In standard form, that would be 2,147,483,648. Semi-Interesting Fact #2: 2^32 - 1 is the 32-bit integer limit. However, web languages like JavaScript can reach numbers up to 1e308, or 10^307. That is over a uncentillion. Numbers are quite fascinating, no? Anyways, enough of "Semi-Interesting Facts", let's move on to an actual topic. Now where was I... Oh, right. The chapter number. Semi-Interesting Fact #3: Bananas are yellow. They also emit radiation from all the potassium inside them. Don't quote me on that, I might have gotten a few things wrong. Semi-Interesting Fact #4: On the periodic table, Element Potassium is labeled "K". Strange, but I'm sure it was for a reason. Right? Honestly, I don't know that much stuff about chemistry. I'm more into mathematics. Wait. Dang it, I went off topic again. Semi-Interesting Fact #5: In the chemical formula of water, H2O does not mean one Hydrogen atom and two Oxygen atoms, instead it would be two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom. Semi-Interesting Fact #6: If you have 2 oxygen atoms and 2 hydrogen atoms, that would create Hydrogen Peroxide, which is an irritant to the eyes, nose, skin, and throat. Okay, I think I am done now. Enough of those semi-interesting facts, now it is time for INTERESTING FACTS- no. I am never saying that again. Ok goodbye CHeese
(4/29/24) I have just achieved an amazing achievement. That's four words that start with the first letter in the English lexicon. This letter is "A". We are have just hit 26,000 characters! Hooray. Alright, off-topic, but... I used to have a laptop on which I made the first LTE I ever made. This LTE had 28 chapters, 10 hour hand writing time, almost 40,000 characters, and over 7,000 words. It took a while to find the file because my desktop was so cluttered up, but I eventually found it in File Explorer. I am going to try and beat that. Also I have moved up a place on the LTE list. I am not actually on it yet, but I just compared the character counts. My next opponent has over 50,000 characters, so I am going to need to type a lot. And I mean a LOT. Just to remind you, I am only around halfway to 50,000 characters. My wrist hurts. Anyway, we are now past 26,000 characters. That was a very short-lived celebration. If you want the current exact character count, it is 26,825 characters, which is almost 27,000! Yay, anyways, I have to go buh bye The Funy Plan
(4/30/24) I use Rubik's Cubes now. As of right now I have been trying to solve one, I have not yet actually done one though. I have followed the steps of white cross, second layer so far, but it's the yellow cross that always throws me off. The weird thing is that on the first attempt on yellow cross, I got a hook shape on the yellow side, so I tried to follow the steps to solve the yellow cross, but I somehow ended up rescrambling it again. After, when I got to the yellow cross step AGAIN, the shape I got wasn't listed. My cube MIGHT be unsolvabale. Sad. Okay, it's later in the day now, and never mind, it is solvable. I still haven't solved it yet, but at least it isn't unsolvable, so I have a chance to solve it once and for all. I have said the word "solve" a lot of times now. I mean, the objective of the cube is to SOLVE it, so I guess it's normal to say solve. Solve, solve, solve, solve- Okay, I am done. Man, that's a tongue-twister. Anyways, just thought I would tell you about something new I do now. I have been practicing a LOT, and it is very frustrating, but if you ever do this, I am sure that eventually, you can solve your first cube. Goodnight everybody have a good April 50th
A, b, see, , Em, 329, four hundred twenty-six point five, \:*:, a, Thak you for sinGing